Dear friends and family,
You know those special kinds of memories that are really
stuck? They’re the memories that – being extraordinarily good, bad, or
impactful – are burned into our minds. For me, these are the memories where I
can remember where I was, who was there, what was said or done, how I felt and,
in many instances, I can even remember specific smiles or facial expressions.
Isn’t that curious? Why does this happen? Why are some memories deeply
registered in our minds while others, like a breeze, are slowly wisped away?
While pondering this line of thought, a realization hit me. While
serving here in Ecuador, I have recorded a shockingly larger number of these
special-type memories than any other time in my life and their details I can
call up with vivid texture in a moment’s notice. I don’t doubt my increased letter
and journal writing along with more frequent self-reflection have contributed
to the increase, but I personally believe it has to do with something a lot
larger as well. The increased memories also stem from my increased efforts to
live here and now - right smack in the middle of the moment.
This week I archived a few new vivid and special memories. I
directed and taught in my last zone meeting. Brother Luigi brought his famous
encebollado for lunch. I listened to the final testimonies of two missionaries who
arrived with me, Elders Jensen and Moody, before slowly standing to give mine. And
I sang the last song I’ll ever sing in a zone meeting in my mission. It was #88
“Placentero Nos Es Trabajar” which is a hymn not found in the English hymnbook.
I looked down at my shoes and then back up again to see a few smiling faces as
we sang the last line:
“Oh hermanos, adios, pues adios! El momento de ir vino ya. Si guardamos
la fe en el gran Dios, nos veremos aun mas alla. Oh hermanos, adiós…pues
adiós.”
(Goodbye brothers, goodbye. The time to go has arrived. If we keep our faith in our great God, we will see
one another again/on the other side. Goodbye brothers, well goodbye.)
President Murphy leaned in and reminded me: “You won’t be
singing this one again since it’s only in Spanish.” I know, that is why I chose
it.
I mentioned the final testimony. It’s something we do here.
All those who are going home in the next transfer stand and offer testimony at
the end of their last zone meeting to express how they feel, to share what they
have learned, and perhaps give even a little advice. It was a really somber moment
and not only because it was MY last time. You see, speaking of deeply
registered memories, I remember vividly the first time I watched a missionary
give his last testimony. He was Elder Mendoza from Arizona. I knew him for only
a brief time having just arrived in Ecuador myself. I knew he had been a zone
leader and a successful missionary. I remember thinking that I would be happy
if I ever mastered Spanish the way he had. I respected him and I aspired to be
like him.
On Wednesday I stood in the exact same spot that Elder
Mendoza stood on October 16, 2016, in the same chapel where it all started for
me, and I said a lot of the same things he said. I felt nearly every emotion we
humans can recognize among them extreme peace, gratitude, excitement, joy,
humility, longing, and surges of sadness. I am happy to say that I have added my
own version of that vivid memory recorded 2 years ago and that I will always
be proud of arriving to the stature of that great missionary I so aspired to
be.
A letter or two ago my Aunt Kris asked if I ever got a
chance to breathe and “soak in” the moments. The answer is absolutely yes! All
the time I do. I have been soaking in things almost every day for the last 714
days that have passed us by. And that’s how I’d describe this past week…I
soaked it in. I don’t have any regrets. I don’t have any resentments. I don’t
have a single ounce of hate or anger toward any person in the world. I’ve
forgiven, forgotten and healed. In other words, my past has been organized,
learned-from, and purified. Yesterday is where it belongs, and it is there, neat
and tidy. Looking forward, I am anxious to hug my mom and my dad, eat Sombreros
carne asada, and watch Star Wars 8 with Nathan. And who wouldn’t be? Yes, sensitive,
tearful, blissful, and eternally joyful moments are on the horizon of my
tomorrow. They’re coming and I feel them but they don’t impede my “now”. On the
contrary, they are helping and motivating me to be even more happy and sincere
in my efforts to work and soak up all I can here and now.
Let the past be the past. Don’t focus on your capacity for happiness in the future. Why hope for something in the past that cannot or will not be? Why plan or wait to be happy? No, let’s live in the moment now. And let’s
love the moments. See you all in a few weeks.
With affection, Elder Ericksen
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