What a ride it has been! A great 2-year ride and I have loved it all.
This week I have felt so many things. I’ve been rising early in the morning and laying down in the night thinking over and over: “I have loved this so much.” I feel a lot of satisfaction and relief because of this. And I feel excited and nervous that I can now count the number of days until I see my family on my two hands. There is something powerful about that that…less than 10. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I have learned, grown and evolved. I feel great peace. I know I’ve given my whole-hearted effort to doing my duty with obedience and diligence. I don’t have anything to prove. I feel extreme joy every time I see members of the Church, especially these last few weeks. It is so easy to love them. They appreciate us so much. I can’t express well enough how blessed, how fortunate, how thankful I feel. My mission has been perfect for me. Perfect.
All that said, I’m not going to hide the deep sadness I feel to be leaving what I love so much, right when I finally learned how to do it best. In a way, it’s like being ripped away from a masterpiece before it’s through. It’s coming to an end. I will deeply miss sharing meals and laughs with the beautiful people of this country. I’m going to miss the excitement of a well-planned p-day and the feelings of accomplishment that comes from finishing a week of hard work. I will miss the Polaca and the encebollado (although I’m eating as much of it as I can while I am still here). I will miss feeling so full and excited when someone comes to Church with us for the first time. I will miss the inspiring, blissful smiles shared following spiritual baptismal services. I’ll miss teaching in zone and district meetings, my humble attempt to love and inspire other missionaries. More than anything, what I will miss the most is simply having so much time to serve others. I want to keep serving and loving like I have here. I know all the wonderful people here aren’t going to disappear and I am grateful for the tools that will help me stay in contact with them.
I am learning that, in order to progress, everything must come to an end. We leave some things behind, in order to make room for new things to come into our lives. But some things we bring forward with us. And while I may be leaving a masterpiece here, I am bringing with me my brushes and paints and lots of new colors to start new pictures elsewhere. I’m bringing every memory and experience that has impacted and shaped me and helped to change my future. I’m bringing a different kind of joy that I’ve tamed here in the mission and I can’t wait to share all that with you! I’m bringing life-lesson after life-lesson picked up in the course of this journey. And I am bringing with me an unshakeable knowledge that God exists and is our Father. He loves us. He sent His Son to show us that love. And His Son’s sacrifice makes it possible for us to return to Him.
Today, sitting here at my desk planning my last week with Elder Hoyos, it struck me how life has a curious way of getting more complicated as we grow. I left my home in August 2016 as Elder Ericksen, a lover of jokes, good music and taco shops. I had my worries and struggles. Looking ahead then, the future seemed so uncertain, unestablished, and raw. There were so many things that needed to be decided and many things I felt had already been decided for me. Out here I’ve added an appreciation for peace, love, mellow p-days and corviches. I’ve faced the best struggles and worries two-years out here could throw at me. And, to be honest, after 6 months I very seldom worried about me. There were new worries, about others, that I had to learn how to overcome. And now the time has come for me to return to being just Adam Ericksen: return missionary, lover of jokes, peace and love, music, taco shops, family, testing corviche receipes with old friends and just generally being happy. And yet, the future seems even more uncertain, unestablished and complicated as ever before in my life! The decisions are bigger, more important, and there are a lot more of them. Not to mention, it’s been a long time since I thought about me.
Even though life feels like it’s about to become a lot more complex, it is all working out perfectly. There is a big difference. I can remember Adam of 2016 feeling really stressed, feeling like there was a lack of guiding vision in his life. That has changed. I am coming home with an elevated vision – one that makes me so excited for unknown. I am coming home ready to take on the world. I’m ready to conquer. Let’s all take on the world! Remember, it’s not over until we’ve won. I’m so excited to see you all. I love you.
For the last time,
(Adam returns home on August 7th. He will report on his experiences in Church on Sunday, August 12th. Our meetings start at 10am and our building is located on Hillsdale Road in El Cajon. All are welcome!)
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