Monday, May 28, 2018

Week 92 - The Miracle of Diligence



To my friends and family,
Miracle #2 of the mission: learning the benefit of diligence.
6:28 AM… 6:29 AM… 6:30 AM…beep…beep…beep. It’s 6:30 AM, the alarm is blaring and I’m already jumping out of bed, saying my morning prayers, and starting 30 minutes of exercise. There is no time to waste because we have something scheduled to do every minute of every day.
Sometimes I feel a little sluggish in the mornings…my body is tired and I know I won’t be returning to my no-pillow, no-blanket bed for a long 16 hours. This is when I most feel the greatest temptation of “oh, just a few minutes more” and “oh, it is just so early.” It is in these moments that I have to remind myself of the “why.” And that is miracle #2 of my mission: I have learned the why. The answer is diligence. Diligence is the pathway to overcoming laziness and a lack of progress and finding success and satisfaction through hard work. For me, diligence is what makes hard work worth it.
For a time, Elder Chavez and I went running in the mornings. I enjoyed it a lot in the beginning but after five or six weeks we missed a day or two due to rain and we really lost our groove. We were working really hard every time we would leave the house to run but without the diligence of “every day” we didn’t notice any important progress.
I’ve noticed it’s the same way with almost every task we perform. I have to apply diligence every day to my studies if I want my knowledge to grow and build. I have to diligently speak with everyone we meet to be able to find Bladimír this past week. I have to diligently keep a good attitude about the humidity every hour of every day for it to not wear me down. Almost always it’s when we’re feeling most discouraged and lazy that we need to be the most diligent.
That is what it is really all about for me. If I continue to do things like studying, working, trying to forgive, trying to be a better missionary, son, and person then I only need to be diligent in my efforts to improve. I can’t give up and be discouraged. And even if I feel like not being diligent, I can just fake a good attitude until it becomes a real part of me. It’s interesting how the mind works like that. I love you all.
- EE
Other tidbits:
  • Next Friday we have our zone conference and I’m super excited for that. Then I travel to Quito on Monday the 4th for mission Council on the 5th. I spent 6 months in Quito and it almost feels like home when I get off the bus there. The air is so clean and fresh air! I’m super excited about it.
  • I’ve been on a constant battle to keep my things clean because mold is attacking really badly. It grows on everything. I’m praying that my clothes can make it another ten weeks!  If we don’t wash things regularly, they get moldy quick. Two days ago I spilled a drop of Coke on my desk and wiped it up and today mold had grown over the spot. Does anyone have any hints about that?
  • Every week I look forward to your letters. Reading emails is one of my favorite parts of the week for sure. Allison, I thought a lot about you this week because of your birthday and everything. I haven’t felt sad about missing something or an event back home since you all went to New York…I kind of detached after that so that I didn’t feel sad. Well this week I don’t know why but I felt really sad about missing your 18th birthday, it was a feeling I haven’t had any longtime. I hope everything was really great!





Monday, May 21, 2018

Week 91 - The Miracle of Sadness


 Dearest friends and family,

Miracle #1 of the mission: I have experienced very intimately just how necessary and beautiful sadness can be.

On Tuesday, I had a moment with one of my favorite families, la familia Cando, where we just talked for a bit about being a missionary. Hermana Cando was asking and teasing me about my video call home on Mother’s Day and she asked if I cried when I saw my family. Their own daughter is currently about 5 months into her mission, serving in Peru. I thought the question was interesting and explained that I didn’t cry upon seeing my family but instead had an emotional few seconds mid-way through the call when I expressed my love for them and shared about some things I have learned out here that I will be applying for the rest of my life to help us grow and continue to support each other.

As we chatted and laughed (Hermana Cando later confessed they all cried during their call), I became really thoughtful and quiet and those thoughts have stayed with me even up to now as I start to write this letter. Before the mission, I used to always avoid, fear and push away sadness as soon as it started to enter my mind. This was a constant goal: focus on good vibes, be chill and happy…all the time. Looking back, that was so dumb! I’ll never say it’s bad to want to be happy all the time but I realize now that, by covering up and avoiding sadness, I was limiting myself in feeling and enjoying the full emotional spectrum we humans are capable of feeling. Let me explain…

I remember being so sad and lonely in the beginning of my mission, especially during my training here in Esmeraldas. I’m sure you all remember my solemn “SOS” letters and could feel my anxiety during those early months. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t push the sadness away and that was really new for me. At the time my inability to push it away was a negative thing and made it worse. But I’m here to say now, looking back on it, it absolutely negative at all! Thanks to that deserted, real, deep, deep ache-inside-my-chest sadness I felt for being away from my family and all that I loved, I now feel like it really means something when I tell my family I love them…even to the point of making me involuntarily cry in middle of a video call home to wish my mom a happy mother’s day. What I have learned is that by experiencing deep and real sadness and despair, my ability to feel a real, and higher level of joy and love has developed and capacity increased. Sadness really is beautiful and is so important.

Now I don’t feel sadness as often as I did back then. I’ve learned to recognize when it’s coming my way, to let it in for a bit to remind me those feelings are still a part of me, and then let it go. I’ve noticed that by doing that I’ve become more adept at feeling compassion and empathy towards others. It’s like I was walking around covered with emotional plastic wrap and my mission has helped me finally peel it all off and feel and enjoy the fresh air of all of my emotions for the first time. I sense deeper, richer and more meaningful feelings and I can relate and comfort others more readily.

Don’t fear sadness. Don’t be so quick to push it away either. Recognize it, let it in and then let it go. Appreciate it for what it’s worth. I know it will bless your lives because it is a miracle that has abundantly blessed mine.

With love,
- EE


Monday, May 14, 2018

Week 90 - Mother's Day Call


[Rough transcript of Adam's call home for Mother's Day - the call opens to what sounded like a kennel full of dogs barking in the background.]


Hey…what’s up guys? How are you doing? Happy Mother’s day! That’s so awesome you all made it and I can see you.
So can you hear the music and dogs? Those are street dogs, outside. There’s a lot of crazy stuff going on outside right now, as you can tell. I’m in the house of one of the nicest church members I’ve met in my entire mission - I know the wifi is going to work.
It’s so good to see all of you. Happy Mother’s Day! I must admit, I am a little nervous for this last call. I don’t know why, it’s weird.
Q: So, do you know how many days are left?
A: I don’t know. I know I have 12 weeks. I know I come home on the 7th of August.
We got our changes last night and I am staying here in Esmeraldas. My companion, Elder Chavez, is leaving which I am kind of sad about because he’s been one of my favorite companions. My new companion is a guy from Bolivia named Elder Oyos. He is from the same ward as my trainer, Elder Fernandez so I’m basically ending the mission the same as I started it. But I am doing it way better this time. I can’t really say I enjoyed my training all that much. But it’s been so great to be back here in Esmeraldas again. It’s been a bit of redemption. I feel a lot older. Like I’ve leaned how to live. Like I’ve learned that it’s important to take a shower every day and if you don't, you shouldn’t be ok with that. I know it’s important to eat all the time. I’ve been living a lot happier, for sure.
Q: Do they have air conditioning?
A: No – the church has AC in the chapel (only) and the hospital. I’ve never been to hospital, but I imagine they have air. This area is very poor. It’s so good to see you guys – you look good.  
Q: What do you see there that you don’t see in the US?
A: Honestly, we could talk about that for an eternity. It completely depends on the region. The mountains, like in Quito, are very different from the coast. But in the coast there are tons of things to talk about. I know you saw the photo of the guy who stacked his ladder up against the wire. In the US, when they fix the electricity, they turn off the whole block. But he just turned off the one wire – you can see lights on behind him – leaned his ladder up against the wires and went to work. A lot of the things that are different here have to do with children and women. Like for example, something common here is when the mom’s feed their babies on the back of motorcycles or pick-up trucks. Laws in general are completely different – there may be laws, but I don’t think anyone knows them.
There are a lot of dogs they just wander around and make more dogs. The dogs aren’t aggressive they are laid back like the people. They are really, really dirty with fleas and ticks. We try not to touch them. Sometimes, a lot of times, they fight and that is one thing I don’t like because there’s no rules – they basically fight to the death.
But I’m really happy to be back here on the coast – there are a lot of amazing people here and I feel like I have grown a lot as a missionary and a person. I am living well despite all of the challenges here and I am really happy, which is good.
Q: How is the food – are you eating well?
A: The food here is better. In the sierra, you eat a lot of potatoes and corn. There’s a lot of food, really good food, specific to this region. Like this one dish, corviche - it’s like plantains shredded with a cheese grater and then mixed with a peanut paste and they put fish in the middle and fry it. It is sold in the street and we eat it a lot. There’s a lot of food that doesn’t have a name. The families here have a lot of recipes and flavors that are specific to their family. We had rooster for lunch today. It was like a – how do you call a field rooster, you know, they grow up outside – yes, wild rooster. The meat is really hard you have to chew it for a long time. They cook it a variety of ways – the woman today made it with a pressure cooker. We ate it with rice and fried plantains
Q: Your shirt looks clean – like you’re holding up.
A: Ya - all of my clothes are ruined. Right now I have 2 pairs of pants that work. I get holes in the crotch because we walk so much and you really can’t fix that. I mean, I’m going to try because it only costs like a dollar, but I need to get a new pair of pants. I’m doing really, really well – I’m really happy. I’ve been practicing my English.
Here’s another thing that happens in Ecuador not in the US – I am really discriminated against. Like the other day, I was on the bus and the kids started calling me “come gratis” – the guy who eats for free – and they were slapping their hands on me, like they were definitely bullying me. I’ve experienced a lot of things that will help me be more respectful.
Q: Do you cook your own meals?
A: We do try to cook our own dinners. We cook eggs, plantains, we make banana milkshakes because they’re very hydrating.
Q: Where do you shop?
A: We don’t really shop – the only mall in town is about an hour away on the bus because of traffic. I’m just really happy, I can’t really explain it. I’m just really blissful - I’m happy now, I’m happy what’s about to happen in my future, I’m happy for my life so far – I’m just extremely happy. To be honest, the thought of coming home kind of stresses me out.
Q: Do you still have the paper machete man? From New Years?
A: You know I bought that for $3, right? There are more cooler ones.
Q: You know why we love it right? Because it looks like you…
A: It’s in the apartment back in Quito. I’ll call Elder Ross and make sure it’s there.
Q: Hey Nathan, what is the first movie I need to watch when I get home?
A: Um, probably Star Wars.
I feel like a lot of missionaries get stressed when it comes to going home but sof ar, not me. I feel like I have a lot of time left in the mission yet. I did find out I won’t see Elder Castagno – he’s moving to another area to train, so I won’t see him until we go home. I think our whole group is together until Dallas.
I am excited. I feel like everything in the future will be great. It’s like the first time I was here, I was miserable and I didn’t want to be here. And then I went away and I learned how to live and coming back I have so much confidence and a sense of self worth. I feel like I’m conquering it now. We are just so blessed, every one of us, you know? Looking around at people who have dirt floors and their houses are made out of cinderblock and they have no chairs or furniture, just blocks to sit on – I mean, we should all be so happy just to be alive. I mean our family is amazing and I have such amazing friends. The fact that God has blessed us so much – we have to go out and help others as much as we can. I really love the new emphasis on ministering; I mean that’s already what we were doing as missionaries, but its good everyone is focusing on that more. I go out everyday thinking “how can I serve you today?” and I am just really happy about that. It’s really awesome. We all eat every day – 3 meals at that – life is really amazing. I love you all so much. We need to keep strengthening one another and loving one another, as much as we can.
I’ve had seem really incredible companions and I’ve really been able to get my head on straight this second year. I’m really confident and really happy. There’s nothing that can upset me at this point.
Next change a lot of my mission friends, Elders George, Moon, Welch, Morton, McKinnon – they are all going home. I’ll be really alone. Elder Morton is from Provo he has a lot of things I can do while going there for school.
Q: What do you think you will miss the most?
A: I will miss a lot of things. There are a lot of people who are very important to me in this country. There is one guy who was passing through some hard things and we really helped him and just loved him through it. Not doing that anymore will be really hard. I will definitely miss helping others full-time. I will be happy to lose this collared shirt and stop riding the bus and being with you guys and stuff. But everyone here is like family and I will miss them the most. When I was here in Esmeraldas the first time, I walked around in a stupor and must have looked shell-shocked because the members in that first branch really helped me. The people there remembered me when I came back and that was really great. The ward we’re serving in now will be one of my favorites.
But I will really miss the people. Like the familia Lopez in Tulcan. Hemano Mauricio got the Melchizedek Priesthood and Hermana Natalia (daughter) is planning to go on a mission. She had her first interview with President Murphy – he showed me a photo and I’m really happy about it. That is a very special family that I will never forget. I love Tulcan so much. Such an amazing family. We’ll go to their house one day and when they meet you, they will break down in tears. I just can’t describe the kind of relationship I have with them. I have families like that in every area I’ve been – especially in Cayambe, too. We baptized this one family there that lives an hour and a half from Church, up this big hill, in the middle of nowhere. Cayambe is at 10,000 feet and their house is at 13,500 feet, and they walk up and down the hill every Sunday to go to Church. They wrote me an email and are doing great. There will be a lot of people here to visit when I come back. Sorry my emails have been getting shorter and less detailed – enjoy each one because you only get 12 more from me.
I do want to get back to Ecuador as soon as possible. It would be wonderful if the Murphy’s are still here too. I’m down for that. I love the Murphy’s; we have a really good bond from my time at the office. President knows every one of us and exactly what to say and what we need to hear to comfort us.
So a quick story: I was on an interchange with another missionary recently and we went to visit this family where the mom was sick and asked for a blessing. And when we were giving her the blessing, a dollar coin fell out of her hair. She acted like she didn’t know it was there and just squealed: “ah, my money.”
Q: How’s your Spanish?
A: Great. Esther writes me from Madrid and the Spain-Spanish is gross with the vosotros and stuff. I’m going to have to work on that a bit. Ecuador Spanish is very different from Argentina and Spain Spanish.
Q: Well do you need anything from us?
A: Actually, yes, I do have a huge favor to ask. So Church culture, you know, people form expectations about missionaries and other people and how things should be. If you are wondering about anything you can do for me, please don’t have any pre-conceived ideas or expectations about me when I get home: please just accept me how I am. That will be a huge relief.
I know I’m going to have to see everyone from our ward, and give my talk, and for that I am excited…but it would be a huge relief to know that I am accepted by you guys.
Also – I’d appreciate it if you put together a list of music I need to catch up on and a couple of movies to see so I can try to be a normal person, you know.
Other than that, please keep writing me – there’s only 12 weeks left. Oh ya – I’d also like to go visit Paraguay. That’s where Elder Acquino lives and he is one of my favorite companions.
I’m working hard and happy. Ask you guys do the same. Use every single day to its fullest to be good people. I am looking forward to my last 12 weeks and finishing my mission strong. I love you guys. See you next at the airport. Bye guys.
- Adam









Monday, May 7, 2018

Week 89 - Purple Dogs and Purple People


Dearest friends and family,
The city of Esmeraldas is a place full of purple dogs and the occasional purple person. I’ll explain what I mean in a moment.
There are so many exotic animals and plants here, how could I have not noticed this before? Last week I wrote that I feel like I’m living in a National Geographic TV show. This week I want to write about feeling silly for not noticing this sooner because it’s really quite obvious that it’s always been this way.
I wrote last week about seeing a chocolate tree in my sector and while that was monumental for me a few days ago, I’ve now noticed that there is an abundance of cocoa trees everywhere I look. We went to Quito on Monday for the monthly mission council meeting and during my favorite 6-hour bus ride through the jungle, I noticed that a lot of the trees that go whizzing by, especially in the flatter areas around Viche and Quininde, there are millions of these mystical cacao trees. I tried to take some photos but they came out blurry. But the lesson of the week is that Ecuador is an amazing country!
I don’t believe I’ve ever written about the geckos. In the coast, I haven’t seen too many “standard-issue” lizards like the ones we have back home. But I do see a lot of geckos! The most common species, that must be breeding season because they are everywhere, are these little white geckos with wide toes. Elder Chaves and I have been able to catch a few of them lately. Everywhere I look I see more bugs, animals, stray dogs, mosquitos, weird but cool flowers, plants with leaves the size of car doors, big ants, small ants, in-between ants, cock roaches, toads, frogs, everything! It leaves me wondering what doesn’t live here?
There are even purple dogs and the occasional purple person. They sell in the stores a purple “cure-all” anti-flea, anti-infection spray meant for dogs. But some people walk around spraying it everywhere, leaving a trail of “cured” purple-spotted dogs and objects in their wake. To me, the product seems like some sort of scam but I always chuckle when I notice someone has sprayed it on their own body. It’s very purple…it doesn’t look right.
Know that I’m happy. I’m living in the one of the most bio-diverse areas of the world and very content doing so.
With love - EE
PS – Can't wait to see you all on Mother’s day!